Wes' Campfire: Bible Study!!!!!!

In this episode we explore the people and places of Shasta Falls some more, K-Lo deals with a problem, with the help of his buddies, and we meet a new friend that is legendary.

Pull up a seat, the fire is lit, the dice are warm, Welcome to Wes' Campfire 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Welcome to West's Campfire. Today we're gonna do uh episode three of the Kids on Bikes arc. Uh so welcome to Shasta Falls, everybody. With me today, my players are Dat Babbo, Mandy, Willie, Alex3000, and of course me, your lovely GM West. Uh so we're gonna start out. It's a uh warm summer Wednesday evening, and everybody in the Midwest knows what that means. It's time for Bible study. So, uh Tanner and uh uh Cody, and why can't I remember Mandy's character's name?

SPEAKER_02 2:23

I forgot to.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Nadia are um at the church with Zeke. Um unfortunately, or maybe luckily, for Kalo. He has to work tonight, so he's uh posted up uh at the dam. Uh the hot only eatery in town. Um the hot only eatery in town, uh, washing dishes, um doing doing his thing. Um the damn.

SPEAKER_07 2:57

The damn. Hey yo, I I'll be out worshiping God and money.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Right. What whatever you just said.

SPEAKER_07 3:06

Scratching and the cheese.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Ah, yes, the scratch and the cheese. Um, I get it. I've been there. All right, so uh I don't scratch too much when I eat cheese.

SPEAKER_07 3:18

Just a heads up, too. I at some point I was gonna like refresh myself on 90s patois, yeah, but I didn't. Yeah. So like I may be falling into late 2000s here.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Bro, we're if you recall our session zero, it doesn't matter. We're really don't give it a yeah, we are unstuck in time.

SPEAKER_07 3:37

I get that, but like you're just gonna be like, oh, okay, so this is just you know.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yeah, no. It's it's a conglomeration of every shitty white guy who wanted to be a black guy that there's ever been. I get it. I've known a lot of them. I've I've been the been been one at times.

SPEAKER_08 3:55

Um I can't say I've ever like been like actually wanted to be a different race. Yeah, but I wanted to be like them because they were cool.

SPEAKER_13 4:04

The guys definitely I never wanted to be black, but like I wanted to be like the.

SPEAKER_07 4:08

I don't I the guys that I was a the guys that I was around, it wasn't a case where they wanted to be black. It was more just like they were it just kind of like how in in our town we had like one black girl and all the whites. So she kind of ended up being a white girl by default. Like some of these guys just they just ended up being black by default just based on the fact they were like grew up with all black. They were like a handful of white people in a black community, it's like they weren't trying to be black as they're gonna be.

SPEAKER_10 4:37

The same phenomenon happens with conquered peoples whenever like a new language gets adopted in a civilization. I I understand the process, but like just I don't know, man.

SPEAKER_08 4:47

Like I never I never was looked at a different race and been like, man, it would be so cool to be them. I just wanted to be rich, kind of. You know what I mean? Like yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

I mean, I liked their culture when I was a teenager. We're getting off subject. We're a Bible study. No, like this is what happened at the Bible study out there. Oh, I get it. So we're talking about racism?

SPEAKER_08 5:11

No, we just talked about random stuff, not about Jesus. I really want Caleb to say that Jesus is black.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Maybe he will later. He's not here right now. All right. So with you uh is Zeke, of course, and then also Billy Johnson, who is uh the annoying church kid that we all know well.

SPEAKER_07 5:31

Um does he sniff a lot?

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Like uh, you know, well actually guys, um uh Jesus said that you have to love everybody, um, except for those gay kids. Uh he said don't do that. And the what? Poor. And the poor, yeah. We don't we don't wait, what? No, that's pretty Republican. Yes, we don't we don't like them.

SPEAKER_07 5:52

Say gay kids or skate kids, because I can see 90s like equally. Uh, them little skateboarding queers. The skateboarding queers. All they do is alleys and butt fucking. That's it. That's all they do. Yeah, but it's like at the same time, it's pretty fucking sick. So uh like mid-aerial.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

That's yeah, I'm trying to think of like the super cool middle-aged, uh not middle-aged, but like young youth leader guy. What's his name? We gotta come up with a name. Dylan. Dylan. Oh, that sounds all right. That sounds both 90s and like youth pants.

SPEAKER_08 6:31

Hey guys, so today, when he talks to you, he always takes a chair and spins it backwards and like arm over the top. His poor costume.

SPEAKER_07 6:41

If he's if he's not, though, he's like the one arm. Yeah, he's in on the knee. Heck, hey kid.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Dylan. Dylan Dylan. Dylan, you signed it. Oh, it's spelled with a Y. No, just Dylan. Dylan. Oh, D-Y-L-A-N. Yes. Alright, so Dylan, uh, he's we'll say he's about 25. Uh ancient. Uh, as as he is an adult, that makes he's useless, uh, probably dangerous, which in a church setting is kind of scary. So it's like 50s movie rules.

SPEAKER_07 7:20

Like, you can't trust the adults to do anything except cool Mr. Whipples. Mr. Whipples, like, indeed. Children, use this flamethrower. Who wants popsicles? Who wants popsicles? Like a giant spider movie. You guys know the rules. Get in the basement. Pluffy teens and a barely interested scientist with an electrocutor.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

All right. So uh you have your church discussion. Uh, Billy is lame as always. At the end of church, you watch a video about how the peace symbol, this this one, uh-huh, and the actual drawn one are symbols of the devil. I know that this happened in the 90s because I watched it. It's an upside down broken cross. It's an upside down broken cross. Dilla's broke the cross. Villains just like, guys, they broke the cross and they put it upside down because these hippies hate Jesus.

SPEAKER_07 8:16

This cracks.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

I got panic ended later in the Midwest. I'm on the internet a lot. Yeah. Um you said earlier we probably stay off of that. That's probably a devil thing.

SPEAKER_08 8:27

Well, I'm doing it for research for Wednesday nights. Yeah, Tanner.

SPEAKER_10 8:32

I know the answer. Uh yes, it is the devil.

SPEAKER_08 8:37

I wasn't going with the peace sign, but I appreciate you. Um I'm going more with you said we're supposed to hate the skate kids because they're queers.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Yeah, they listen, in Leviticus uh book, Leviticus, uh number something, it says Leviticus your cousin Kalo. It doesn't, it says, don't bang uh dudes. But I got a question.

SPEAKER_07 9:01

Kalo's just represented by like a hat on the table.

SPEAKER_08 9:05

There's a there's a skate. Oh yeah, a skate maneuver, if you will, a skate trick.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 9:14

Um that's referred to as Christ heir. Well, that's to trick you. Huh? What are they trying to get you to think they're like Christ? Well, they jump in the air, they got a skateboard in one hand, and they go out in T-pose like Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

That seems pretty blasphemous if you're looking at it from my perspective as a guy who doesn't. Bro, if you're looking at it from my perspective as a guy who doesn't want you to enjoy that thing, you really gotta understand how it's bad for you. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't want you to enjoy it, so it's bad. So I want you to think about this, Dylan.

SPEAKER_08 9:50

You want to connect with us? Skateboarding's a thing. Skateboarding is the way if you want to be the cool way to connect. If you want how about this? Why don't you find a way to make skateboarding this? Whoa, you're good idea. I'll be on the forefront. Do it. Uh, I got a skateboard outside. You want to kick flip it?

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Yeah. Hell yeah. What's up, Jesus? Yes, Tanner.

SPEAKER_10 10:17

I don't think you should talk about air Jesus like that anymore. Yeah. He's my favorite Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 10:22

He's your favorite Jesus. Alright, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you.

SPEAKER_08 10:28

I just had to ask you.

SPEAKER_10 10:30

They let me hang out, and I don't even have legs.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Oh, the skateboarders let you hang out?

SPEAKER_08 10:34

You don't have to skate. You just can't be a dick.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Oh. Well, that's Jesus wasn't a dick. He was and he was specifically anti-being a dick.

SPEAKER_08 10:44

And I mean, technically you can't be a poor kid and be a skateboarder. Oh, that's true. It is expensive. Um so really, if that if that group isn't the most Christ-like, uh I don't know who is.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

Yeah. Yep. Alright, so uh we're gonna cut from the uh cut from the church where uh we're discussing the joys of skateboarding, and Billy is just standing there. It's so unsafe, boys. It's so unsafe. It's not safe that skateboarding. You could fall and break your cock cocks. Dylan, he said cock. Dylan, he said cock. Billy, we really need to not use those kind of words. I can't talk to myself. I'm not gonna have a conversation with myself. I got him in trouble. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

We're not getting nobody in trouble today.

SPEAKER_01 11:43

We're not getting nobody in trouble today. Alright, uh so uh pan over to the dam. And you and uh you're elbow deep in the sink. Fucking texting each other, motherfucker. Elbow deep in the sink, and uh you hear your pager go off. It makes a ding noise. Like a weird modern ding noise.

SPEAKER_07 12:09

No, I remember what they do, and they go.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 12:15

Oh, was it you? No. We'll discuss later. Okay. Yeah. The pager goes. Your pager goes off and it's uh pager went off. I got my cool swatch.

SPEAKER_08 12:31

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_07 12:32

Look at the at the number, I recognize it.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah, it's uh Ricardo, Mr. Mr. XL, Mr. Extra Large. Mr. Extra Large. Uh so you know, and it's got uh, you know, his number, and then you know, 911 is like it's an emergency, call me.

SPEAKER_07 12:48

Yeah. So uh even though it is a phone call, just instinctively Kalo straightens his shit up, gets the shit all looking good. Goes over the pay phone is like, hey Marty, uh yeah, I got a call and put my 10 cents in. Fuck in the good old days.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Bro, it was 25 at this time, I promise.

SPEAKER_03 13:13

Uh 25 in the 80s.

SPEAKER_07 13:16

I will still pay a a quarter.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

1-800 collect.

SPEAKER_07 13:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

Oh, we gotta do that at some point. Someone's gotta make a collect call.

SPEAKER_07 13:25

You can do that, you can do that when you're getting picked up from school, but it's hard to do that when you're trying to carry a conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

We'll have to do it at a different anyway. Yes, you're calling Ricardo.

SPEAKER_07 13:34

Yeah, so uh uh yes um um hello Ricardo. Uh how can I help you today? Do you would do you have a takeout order you'd like to uh place?

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 13:46

Uh sir.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah. Bitch, I got a takeout order. That motherfucking shit you owe me. That's what I got. Take that out. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 13:57

Uh so like I understand that uh like it's not my fault, man. Like, the truck ain't here. Fucking it's in, I don't know, potato Ohio or some shit. Like, it broke down. All the all the like it's it'll be here.

SPEAKER_07 14:17

Maybe I don't want to say maybe. Like that was that was that was a poor choice of words on my part. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm I'm nervous. My hands are wet.

SPEAKER_05 14:30

God damn it.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Uh listen, you can settle your debt with me real easy.

SPEAKER_07 14:40

And in the background is just like the s the hiss of a fryer, and the constant scrape of some asshole in a griddle.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

All right, uh so he says to you, um, he's like, listen, I got pulled over the other day and they popped me on some bullshit. You know how these pigs be.

SPEAKER_09 15:00

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking bad.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Oh, yeah, sir. Yeah. Uh listen, they they got my car in the impound by the dump. I need you to get in there. You get in my seabring, my beautiful C bring convertible with the teal. It's a beautiful teal color. It does not look like a girl's car. It is very a man much a manly car. Word. Word. Word.

SPEAKER_07 15:27

No, it is you thing with masculinity.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Yeah. You pop that middle console off for me, alright? There's some stuff in there. I need you to get take care of it before the police find it. You understand me? Say less. All right.

SPEAKER_10 15:41

When you tell them about it, I want you to talk to him real soft and like like your like he's your hoe.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

And you're trying to convince him to get in the console. KLO, I need you to get into that console. You know what I'm saying, girl?

SPEAKER_06 15:53

Oh, yeah, no, no.

SPEAKER_07 15:57

I need you to get in that console pulling me. Uh sir. I remember the uh radio you ordered for takeout. Yeah, the radio.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

I wanted from takeout. Boy, better bring me my cool whip.

SPEAKER_07 16:09

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, you you have hired the correct ninja, sir.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

All right. Uh so uh yeah. Now church is letting out. Um and the the Millers, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Miller, Zeke's parents, gathering you kids up, and they say, Hey, we're gonna go out for dinner and we're taking you with us.

SPEAKER_06 16:44

Sorry, that just sounded like I'm going down. I'm bringing you fuckers with us. We're going to dinner together. God damn it.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Before we take you home, so threatening like before we take you home from this church excursion, we're gonna take you out for dinner. Cause we like to show off our money. McDonald's? Uh no, bro. We're gonna take you all to the damn sit-down restaurant.

SPEAKER_10 17:13

That is the only restaurant in town.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

It is the best only restaurant in town. Oh. Remember my little sister sometimes. Like, now I want to make a t-shirt. The damn the best only restaurant.

SPEAKER_07 17:25

We were we were coming back from someplace and she's like, we stopping to eat. She's like, getting hamburgers. She's like, oh, we're going to a restaurant. She's like, sit-down hamburgers.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Sit down hamburgers. No.

SPEAKER_07 17:39

Nothing, nothing intelligent.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Just sit down hamburgers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

The damn. I forgot what he said.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Oh, you guys are going out to dinner at the dam.

SPEAKER_03 17:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

It's at the restaurant. The dam. Ha! After church. Well, it's the beaver dam, not the gut damn, it's okay.

SPEAKER_07 17:59

I imagine there's a contingent of people in that stupid fucking town that laugh at that same joke.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

Oh, I'm sure they drive past it. Hey, you guys want to go to the dam? Sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Strawberry shortcake.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Okay. Very random.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

It's the 80s.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

It's the 90s. Oh, 90s. Still okay. Reruns. Reruns. I was gonna say, as a kid born in the 80s, as a kid from 1990, who was a teen in 1996. I knew girls who liked strawberry shortcakes still, so it's fine. I like I liked bitch pudding.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Um I'm pretty sure I wore strawberry shortcake perfume until ninth grade. Yeah. Then I went to Sierra, then I went to Sunflowers.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

I wore uh Cool Water by David Off or smells like cool water because I couldn't afford cool water. And the reason I did that is because that's what Snoop Dogg wore in the song Lottie Dottie. Um so for all the bitches I might take home, I put on the Johnson's baby powder in a cool water cologne because I'm press pressed like a million bucks, you know. You gotta baby powder yourself.

SPEAKER_10 19:19

I had a bouquet, a rainbow rainbow body spray.

SPEAKER_08 19:25

It's fucking amazing. I don't know if you guys ever been in a like a high school locker room in the 90s. That's what it smelled like police football game. Like an apartment full of immigrants all cooking something at the same fucking time.

SPEAKER_10 19:40

They're from different places too. It's not all Oaxian people. You got fucking Afghanistan.

SPEAKER_07 19:44

Yeah, when you when you can actually sample like 20 at a time, and you can really it's just like, oh wow, everybody does have their own distinct odor.

SPEAKER_13 19:53

Jesus, I'm getting a buzz. Alright. That's how thick that fit in hanging on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

So we're at the dam. Yeah. Uh you guys uh you guys are ordering dinner.

SPEAKER_10 20:07

Um percent.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

It's been charging for 20 minutes. Um 18 minutes and 43 seconds.

SPEAKER_08 20:18

You got me. Based on what my father wants me to do, right? Yeah. I take a look around, I'm scoping out the restaurant. Like does it look like everybody's ordering the same thing? Like, is there one of the things that you're doing?

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Well, so the dam is not attached to the um fraternal order. Okay. It's just cleverly named because the school mascot is the beavers, the fraternal order of the beavers on the like you can see from like their like outside dining area, you can see the fraternal order of the beaver. You can see the like the dam that like created the little lake in town, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_10 20:58

So like it's just a is there anything to do with the ominous cryptid legend?

SPEAKER_01 21:02

And a little bit to do with the ominous cryptid legend. No, not really, but do the millers order for us?

SPEAKER_07 21:09

I bet they have a really big steak that like you have to like call ahead of time in order to get it's a big fever. It's just a fucking 72-ounce steak. Yeah, they have a beef squatch of bison steak. Yeah, bison steak. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 64 ounces of bison pork.

SPEAKER_08 21:25

Or are they trying to like want their money and they tell us we can order what we want on the menu?

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Uh you can order whatever you want.

SPEAKER_08 21:33

I want to order exactly what the millers order.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Okay. 72 ounce.

SPEAKER_10 21:39

I guess uh I guess I'll be nice and not order too much then. Paul says we need to grease the wheels.

SPEAKER_07 21:50

That means because my wheels run just fine, but I'm picturing Kayla works back in a kitchen with a crew of just Like-minded little uh cobald creatures. So I um every kitchen I've ever known is populated by like these man roaches.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Uh so yeah, basically just uh so like I'm gonna tell I'm gonna give you an exp an explanation of the people uh that are in the kitchen with you, and they may or may not be based on real people.

SPEAKER_07 22:21

Okay, uh because I was just gonna say if it's a if there's at least a group of us back there, just while somebody's ordering, just you here from the kitchen. That kitchen's closed. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, six or seven little giggling.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

So there's you, who's the you know, 17-year-old teen kid who does the bang of a loud spatula. Yeah. And then uh on the um, so you do the dishes and run a fry station, and then on the flat top grill, you have Alan. Now Alan's 35, but he's got a drinking problem.

SPEAKER_10 22:55

Just hammered off the 3.5 beer every single day.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

So, like, you know, it's a it's it's a restaurant in the Midwest, so it's got a bar attached, so he's just drinking all night.

SPEAKER_08 23:08

This is what I'm picturing. Do you guys remember Pizza Hut in the 90s? Yes, you could buy 3.5 beer, it was a restaurant, they served you.

SPEAKER_10 23:16

Yeah. So my brother worked there, uh, and he was Kalo-esque as a motherfucker, and that dude would just pound back.

SPEAKER_13 23:23

He'd have the Pizza Hut cup loaded to the brim with 3.5 beer. Yes, and that motherfucker got empty and filled all day long.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

All day long, yes. That's Alan. Uh, only Alan's older. Now I didn't mean to hijack. No, you're fine. And then you have uh Jesse, who is basically exactly the same as Alan, but he's about 23. They're just but yes, very much very Kalo-like people. Okay, they may or may not be based off of real people, and then occasionally in the kitchen, but only whenever necessary and when you're really busy, is Buck. Now, Buck is the owner and he doesn't take no bullshit, so the kitchen runs very smoothly when Buck is there. Once again, these people may or may not be based off of real people.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

Buck.

SPEAKER_10 24:05

Okay. Buck puts on lipstick in the bathroom and nobody's listening.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

You are not what is it, Mike? The micro machine guy that would go.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Oh, did I uh say that too fast?

SPEAKER_03 24:17

The world's fastest talker guy? Yeah, yeah, but he did the micro anyway.

SPEAKER_07 24:21

Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. I own many micro machines.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Alan is a 35-year-old alcoholic. Jesse is a 23-year-old soon-to-be alcoholic. Uh, Buck is a no-nonsense, I don't know how old he was. He's middle-aged.

SPEAKER_07 24:36

Well, yeah, yeah, like I said, I was I wasn't trying to jump in there. I was just trying to say, like, yeah, from the kidneys here. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

No, you said that as soon as you said it, I pictured the guys that I used to work with. Um Alan. Yes, dear.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Did we forget about Eli?

SPEAKER_01 24:55

He's still in the sewers.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

He's still in the sewers where we found him. We left him there.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

I mean, Alex has been sneaking him food. It's been a couple days. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

I was just I was just I was filling in the gap.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's I mean, he's Alex said that something. Yeah, house policy is like all the food scraps.

SPEAKER_07 25:11

Like they just pull them out to the duck.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

I figured we'd we're gonna get the group together as a group here shortly. Sorry. It's all right. We're good. Uh all right, so um dinner's wrapping up. Uh Alex, you catch Zeke on his way to the uh bathroom. And you think maybe if you could convince some of these people that you were friendly with to help you with your task, it might be easier. So, you know.

SPEAKER_07 25:41

Hey, yo, um, yeah. Gonna pull out my wallet and take a look at it. And yeah. Klo has Yeah, that's absolutely enough. Right, but at least two people.

SPEAKER_09 26:06

Hey. Hey, Z. Hey, what's up, bro? You and a buddy want to make some money? I mean. Or do you want to make a bunch of money?

SPEAKER_07 26:15

I mean. And I'm not gonna flight, like, I'm holding.

SPEAKER_01 26:19

Yeah, no, I get it. You doing the like, I got a 20 on the outside and a bundle of ones on the inside trail.

SPEAKER_07 26:24

Russell style, but like not even cleverly.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Yeah. Um, he's like, I mean, sure, I like money.

SPEAKER_09 26:31

I yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I need somebody to like just go down to the dump and like act a fool. Okay. We could probably do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, uh, hey, hey, yo, fuck yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 26:44

I got these fireworks. You want to go down to the dump, shoot off some fireworks? You and a buddy? Sure. Hell yeah. That sounds like a hell of a good time. I'll steal you a fucking beer. You guys go and you you and a buddy go down and party at the dump, but like where I tell you to and when to do it, okay?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 26:59

All right.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

All right. All right. All right. So uh he's like, he agreed.

SPEAKER_07 27:06

And I put my two dollars back in my wallet.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 27:09

Feeling like I just scored. Yeah. He's gonna get smart at everybody.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

He's gonna get your pager number. And he's like, I alright, so I gotta, I gotta, so I'm gonna bring, you know, that Tanner kid, right? He's alright, right?

SPEAKER_07 27:21

Yeah, he is a big guy.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Yeah, and then fuck the sister. That's what I hear, but isn't she missing?

SPEAKER_07 27:29

That's kinda I know, like that's you know, kind of makes it better, I guess. That's weird, but uh like yeah, man. I've been doing dishes, fuck off. I mean, I've been doing dishes, fuck off.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

My job is to wash dishes, motherfucker. You can't tell me how to live my life. Alright, so um he's gonna come back to the table and he's gonna look at you and he's gonna be like, yo, Cody. Oh, you wanna go down to the to the dump and shoot all some fireworks? And while he's mentioning that to you, you recall that while you were on your message boards researching the sewer, that inside, like on the edge of the dump is like uh older entrance to the sewer that um people don't use anymore, and it's pretty close to that uh uh on the map where the uh like uh SOS coordinates were coming from.

SPEAKER_12 28:32

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm cool. Nadia.

SPEAKER_05 28:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_12 28:36

Hey, we're gonna go down to the dump, shoot your fireworks off.

unknown 28:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 28:40

You're worried about Eli, right?

SPEAKER_05 28:41

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_12 28:42

I think there's uh there's an entrance to the sewer on that end, too.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

Okay. Let's just go.

SPEAKER_08 28:48

Tanner, we're wheeling you along. Tanner's getting pushed along whether he wants it or not. If you guys want to, you can push me. It's all right. First off, when the chores get done. I don't have anything.

SPEAKER_12 28:59

Okay, good. All right, good. Yeah, yeah, Zeke, we're in.

SPEAKER_07 29:02

All right. Tanner or uh Kayla's gonna go out, unscrew the handlebars, the bolt that holds the handlebars on, and the hollow tube in there. Yeah. There's a string that pulls on it, and there's a little cardboard thing that pulls up, and seven M80s slide out of the frame of this bicycle. A daisy chain. The real blow your fucking.

SPEAKER_03 29:30

The ones that were a quarter second, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 29:32

Yeah, the ones that blow lids off of the ones that menace at blowing up blue mailboxes.

SPEAKER_07 29:39

And he's gonna look at the crew by the box full. And he's gonna tuck one back in the bike, and he's gonna hand six of them off. All right, and like half of a beer that somebody had like started at the bar and walked away from, and he just like was doing bar back and just stole this guy's beer. So like it's only been drank once.

SPEAKER_06 29:59

It's still good, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 30:00

So good, still good, yeah. All right, uh it's some fancy shit. Like, I didn't read the label it. Um what is this? Uh stag. Fancy, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

Come on.

SPEAKER_07 30:13

Oh no, he would recognize steak taters and gravy.

SPEAKER_01 30:20

As once again, as someone who experienced being a Midwest kid at this time frame.

SPEAKER_08 30:25

I haven't heard that in over four. It's the fancy bottle that kind of looks like the modern day butt plug. Like the bridge, ribs.

SPEAKER_01 30:35

Banquet bottle. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, banquet bottle. Had like the ionic element to the neck in your head.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

I used to drink Miller. Blame me.

SPEAKER_10 30:44

Specifically because it had the vortex bottle. Yeah, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

They told you it was cool. Yeah. I used to drink Rolling Rocks because they were in a green bottle for the same reasons.

SPEAKER_10 30:53

The only reason Cam brought Rolling Rock to my house was because he was an underage kid.

SPEAKER_01 30:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 31:00

What? He's like he's like two years younger than that. I was gonna say, yeah. It's not that big.

SPEAKER_07 31:05

At this point, statute of limitations is well expired. All right, so all right, so so yeah, plan B.

SPEAKER_09 31:14

Plan B.

SPEAKER_07 31:15

You uh I'm gonna give you these fireworks. You go down by the uh entrance down this way, right? Nice, nice level patch here, being open, and you shoot off some fireworks. I gotta go run, do some errands, but I'll be back. Uh, I got this last one we like this thing, the the the what they call it, the coot de grace, the big bang, you know, the end. Okay. So I'll be back, I'll be back with the finale, but like I gotta go get it.

SPEAKER_01 31:43

So before we go to the uh let's let's play this out story-wise. Um uh we'll go flashback. This is uh him explaining the plan when you guys get to the gate, but before we get to that, um so them you guys are still at dinner with the Millers. Uh so Zeke uh is going to try to convince them that uh to let let him hang out with his buddies tonight, you know. Like um, you know, just let us hang out for a little bit. It'll be cool, you know. I want to get to know him. He's you know, uh, you know, I'm kinda now his his stepparents, they inherently trust Tanner because uh his dad is part of the lodge, so obviously he's a good guy, right? Like they wouldn't let nobody go in the lodge. They know your dad's history, so they're a little leery of you. So they're gonna let him go, but they say that you gotta take Billy with you because they definitely trust Billy because he is the most goody two shoes kid ever.

SPEAKER_08 32:49

So uh here's a question. What did Billy eat for dinner?

SPEAKER_01 32:56

He let him hold them dinner with a glass of milk, he had uh he had yeah, he had a glass of milk. Andy and cereal. His dinner was he ordered off of the kids' menu. He ordered the chicken tenders with French fries. Poor bastard. Ketchup or no ketchup? Uh no ketchup. It's almost like you feel this bowl, he has no soul.

SPEAKER_07 33:21

I respect that he didn't do ketchup, though. Like dipping chicken and ketchup is just if Caucasian wasn't a flavor, Billy is it.

SPEAKER_08 33:35

White boy. You just turned those nuggets into beaver-shaped dino punches. Uh yeah, actually, that's kind of what it and instead of ketchup, it's mayonnaise now.

SPEAKER_07 33:44

Yeah. I'm picturing like little fish-shaped nuggies. It's it's the welcome to the damn, get the fish nuggies from the nursery.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Yeah, that the hatchet. I mean, they could be dino-shaped chicken nuggies or uh beaver-shaped chicken nuggies. Yeah. I'm fine with that. So I'm gonna make a menu for the dam. None of this is relevant to anything. I'm gonna find subscribers. I'm gonna make a t-shirt. Instantly.

SPEAKER_08 34:09

I am going to start thinking of a way to ditch Billy. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

Oh, John Winchester. T-shirt. Tell you later.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Okay. Cool story. Mark this time frame for stoner moment. Sorry. Alright. That's gonna be a big time.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

I did not raise my hand that time. I just started talking like you guys do.

SPEAKER_08 34:37

It was wonderful. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_12 34:41

I'm gonna lean over to Billy. I'm gonna be like, hey. Um, I heard there's a group of goth kids that don't believe in Jesus. Over in the park. I think you're the only one that can talk to us.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

Oh, geez, goth kids. I'm kind of scared of goth kids. They they worship the devil and listen to trying to think of the most benign goth music out there.

SPEAKER_07 35:13

They live in that corn stuff. No, it's 90s, right?

SPEAKER_03 35:17

It would have been 90s show, like uh they were listening to Aphrodite's Child album 666 on vinyl. Because that's what I was doing in the 90s.

SPEAKER_08 35:28

That's awesome. You were a classy goth, though. These these were the No, no, no, you gotta listen to this. Yeah. Out of all the kids. Out of all the kids in Youth Group, Billy, you are the one.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

You know, that album is gonna like go if people watch when it's uploaded.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

They should watch our show and they should buy that album. I'm gonna look it up.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

Okay, so my old best friend is the one who actually still has my actual album and gave it to him when he graduated.

SPEAKER_08 36:03

You remember that moment in Youth Group tonight where I paused for a second and it looked like somebody was talking to me, but not really.

SPEAKER_05 36:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 36:15

God spoke to me, Billy, and he said, You need to tell Billy to go convert the goth kids. Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Um, I'm gonna need you to roll me a charm. Well, hold on.

SPEAKER_08 36:31

He goes, he quoted the Bible. Okay, and just like David in the Lion's Den, oh yeah, Billy into the goth kids layer.

SPEAKER_01 36:41

Into the goth den. You're right.

SPEAKER_03 36:44

His eyes roll back in his head. He's gonna speak in tongues and he's raising his arms up walking with the golf.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

I'm gonna have you roll charge, but I I'm gonna let you roll two of your dice. I guess that's the closest thing to advantage. I guess I can get it.

SPEAKER_08 36:57

Could I use this fucking bullet? An adversity token? Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Uh you can use it, yeah. You could that would add another dice, so that would total make it three. Three?

SPEAKER_12 37:05

Alright, I need three D4s. You might hit me up with one. Alright. Here's that. Oh totaling them up?

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Yep. Six. Six? Uh I need my book back real quick, Alex. Sorry.

SPEAKER_07 37:27

I'm just trying to figure out what the hell intuitive is. Like, there isn't a listing for what anything. Apparently there is somewhere because I have one thing written down, but my mark not where I thought I had it. There's way more like how to tastefully approach the scene like talking to each other than there is about the actual fucking stats. Like I get it. Like it's it's trying to be fucking whatever, but it's not helpful.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Yeah. Let me try to figure out Pause. Alright, sorry. We had to stop and take a rules lookup break because I, as with every game, sometimes you gotta do that. Uh it's impossible to uh remember all the rules uh all the time. Alright. So where was I? You were convincing um Billy Billy that he needs to go convert the goth kids. Um, so uh I set your check at a 10. Um, because it's not that hard to convince him to do Jesus things. He really loves it, but you did fail um by one, so he doesn't believe you. But it he knows you're trying to get rid of him. Um, so uh game says you should suffer minor consequences, so uh he's gonna look at you and go, you know what? I know you're trying to get rid of me. And the next time I see your dad, he's gonna find out about it, and he just like takes off on his bike because you have your bikes because you always have your bikes, they're magical, I guess. I'm gonna be all like um okay. But you've you've made an enemy.

SPEAKER_07 39:10

You sniffly Brian.

SPEAKER_01 39:12

I'm not gonna put up with this shit. I I well he wouldn't say that because he looks like this. I'm not gonna put up with this, okay? I'm you guys are I'm very, very important. Hey, I'm very important.

SPEAKER_08 39:24

I understand, but you also look like a peanut would kill you.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

And he's gonna, you know, take off on his bike.

SPEAKER_07 39:30

So it was before peanut allergies. Yeah. This is like when a peanut flicked at you could kill you. Could kill you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Alright, so um my spine. My spine. Why is it weird now? Alright, so um, right, let's uh approach. I guess you're gonna go to the uh now we're at the junkyard. Yeah, even though I'm some arms, Tanner. Alright, so uh you guys are at the junkyard. This is what stands before you. You see um, you know, the main gate, like Alex is saying, you see, so through the main gate, you see off to the side the uh the uh the dump part, right? Where the uh the city dump is. Um and then off to the other side is where like the scrapping operations and the impound lot would be. Um you see towards the back of the bo of the dump part the ever-present glow of the trash fire or the dumpster fire or the uh fire fire. Jesus Christ words, all of it, all of it. Um so yeah, this is what you see before you.

SPEAKER_07 40:44

Um just the the local culture has to have the food super spicy everywhere, just strong in their mic and just like silver mining in the 1800s, yeah. Just to get the taste of tire fire out of your fucking mouth.

SPEAKER_01 40:58

Yeah. Alright, so um lot of cumin. Alex is telling you guys his plan, which is to light some firecrackers up here while he goes down over there. How do you guys wish to proceed?

SPEAKER_12 41:12

Do we know any local lore about this dump other than tire fire?

SPEAKER_01 41:16

So you know that the gentleman who uh runs the dump is named Mr. Walker. Um he's he seems like he's been in town forever. The man has to be like he was old, he's been old for as long as anyone can remember. Um, so he's probably like 152 by now. Who really knows? Um, but he's also like a like very large, um, I'd almost call him square-shaped man. Um he's like like six foot tall, just broad shoulders, broad shoulders. Broad shoulders, broad body, not fat. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 42:06

Just like you were gonna say beard, and I was gonna be like, hmm. What are we doing here?

SPEAKER_06 42:12

He'd be wearing a hat.

SPEAKER_01 42:14

He's wearing uh he's wearing a flat hat and he calls himself Bob for some reason instead of Mr. Wolf, no. Bo Bob Boabe? Jumping?

SPEAKER_08 42:24

I'm picturing like LA for Bob brands. He calls himself Bobra.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

Babra. Um no. Uh just a he's just a large solid dude. You guys, you know, even though he's old, like he still like picks up fucking giant metal shit all day.

SPEAKER_07 42:46

When you look at these bibballs, because he is wearing bib overalls. Yeah, I mean, I one one one connected, one knot.

SPEAKER_01 42:55

And in the summertime, no shirt under no shirt, no underwear.

SPEAKER_03 42:58

There's no and the side buttons are just laying open. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Better ventilation.

SPEAKER_07 43:04

Like when you look at the silhouette top of his ass cheek. But when you look at the silhouette of this guy, it's not way more than you want. There's no curve in of the waist, there's no bulge out. Yeah, yeah. It is just like a solid trunk of a rectangle of a man.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

Yeah. Yeah, it's he's a rectangle-shaped man, yes, exactly. Um God, I got good microphones now. I can hear all your shit. Uh so you hear me. Don't make me mute you. I will do it, Bob. You won't do it, pussy. I did. Can you guys still hear me? I mean, I'm back on, so yes I can. But I did mute you for that second when you said you won't do it, pussy. Anyway. Uh so what's the plan? We're gonna just do do as Kalow prescribed, or are we going to look uh Caleb has always been real nice to me and I I don't think it's because he wants to fuck my sister at all.

SPEAKER_07 44:13

So it's not all about your sister.

SPEAKER_08 44:18

I mean for me it is she's missing.

SPEAKER_07 44:20

No, like I'm saying like I'm he doesn't hang out just because he's trying to fucking Aw, thanks Caleb Klo or Caleb K Lo.

SPEAKER_10 44:32

His main his name is probably Caleb, but his name is Kenny. His name is Kenny.

SPEAKER_01 44:37

We discovered earlier today. His name is his name is Kenny. Oh Lowell. L-O-W. So K L K Lo. So you know K Low.

SPEAKER_08 44:52

Very, very good, tasty character building. I like him.

SPEAKER_07 44:55

Yeah.

unknown 44:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:58

There's a poor, sad little fuck underneath all this.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Dude, I saw it whenever whenever you were talking to fucking uh Ricardo XL. You're like, oh fuck, this dude could actually kill me if he wanted to. I gotta show him respect. I can't be Kalo.

SPEAKER_07 45:19

Kalo's perspective is just like the darkness with those like hairy knuckles holding a phone. Right. Far too small for this giant fucking paw.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Right. All right. All right.

SPEAKER_06 45:29

So uh for the last time, Kalo.

SPEAKER_01 45:33

So Zeke's Zeke's got a firework. Everybody got a firework, right? Yeah. There's uh four of us. There were six fireworks. Seven. Yeah. No, he kept I handed out six. He handed out six. All right. So Zeke's gonna keep an extra one. Always say one for yourself. Just in case I don't use it, M80.

SPEAKER_07 45:53

Suicide capsule, yeah. Uh Jesus, what a weird thing.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

So Zeke's gonna be like, all right, so I think the best thing, the best way to do this is if we still have teeth. Set them at different areas and have them explode at different areas, right? So like he looks around. Yeah, what's up to him?

SPEAKER_10 46:12

So when I blow up bullfrogs typically, if I want a bigger explosion, I gotta use all of it at once.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

Oh, you think we should blow them all up at once?

SPEAKER_10 46:20

Yeah, we gotta find a weak point and then just shove it all there.

unknown 46:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 46:24

Like what like a bullfrog's weak point is its butthole. And if you shove two, it is a much larger boom.

SPEAKER_07 46:33

If Kalo is present, he is going to like raise a display raise his hand to speak, and then he's gonna like think about it and go, No, I want to watch them stuff six M80s into a bullfrog.

SPEAKER_08 46:49

If you just put it around the frog, yeah, like it doesn't have the same explosive. I think at this point we need something uh larger than a blow up against each other.

SPEAKER_09 46:58

Got it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 47:00

I think we need an oil drum, like one of them barn barrels. Oh, that's a good idea. That would make a big noise.

SPEAKER_01 47:07

Okay, so fucking my grandma's barn barrel.

SPEAKER_03 47:11

Those you remember those grand firecrackers? All right, uh, so in there, some M80s and light it.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

I mean, I don't you guys remember so you get the regular, I mean, I guess you could use M80s too, but you get a uh cast iron skillet, you put like half an inch of water in it, and you get a tin can, and you light the firecracker, you put it underneath the tin can, and when it pops, it'll shoot right up in the fucking air. That's what we used to do.

SPEAKER_10 47:38

So uh my dad had a muzzle loader because uh he got he won some raffling at the Charles Arboretum. That sounds like that. So basically they put a deer in front of him and they said you can only kill it with a muzzle loader because it's an arboretum. But anyway, he wound up with a bunch of gunpowder, and me and found it, and it was 4th of July.

SPEAKER_08 47:57

And we found a bullfrog, so we found out how much blood black powder we could shove in it. A gallon of black powder and put it in a jug, an uh an old milk jug, and you put fucking artillery shells in that, yeah, and then M80s, and then fucking sparklers coming out the top like a bouquet.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

So you used to have four brothers, right?

SPEAKER_13 48:18

I no, I still have bits of it. We go to the party, we go to the party party.

SPEAKER_08 48:23

And this this is the grand finale. I was wondering what happened to Charlie. This is the grand finale. So we got a bunch of black cats, a bunch of other shit we're gonna light off first.

SPEAKER_13 48:30

We get to the fucking slide and put some gravel up there, and we're gonna light off one fucking black cat. One black cat. Put a pile of pig gravel in the slide, put a black black cat over here.

SPEAKER_08 48:38

I take the gallon of fucking gunpowder and other explosive shit, and I stick it way the fuck over here, away from this one fucking black cat. I like the black cat. The fuse goes, goes out. I'm like, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_13 48:52

And then it goes in mid-air laugh. And fucking lands and run in that gallon chug of gunpowder and other explosive shit.

SPEAKER_08 49:09

And there's a fucking crater, and shit is flying at the back of our heads.

SPEAKER_07 49:12

What you didn't hear was that firework going Alu Akbar. Yeah. And then doing the sickest backflip. Fucking like the Olympics. So he landed.

SPEAKER_08 49:22

Jason, Jason was looking backwards while he's running, hit a park bench, and snapped his fucking leg in half. Oh damn. His leg stayed there, and the rest of them went over the fucking bench. I'm like, ooh. And then a fucking artillery shell hit me in the head. Knocked me the fuck down.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

All right. I love the firework days. Yes, they were great. All right, back to uh this firework. So uh you look around and you see, yeah. Um yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_08 49:52

So we talked about earlier. Do I know from my chat rooms, right? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_12 49:58

I know where the entrance of this sewer is on this end of town, right?

SPEAKER_08 50:04

Yes. I'm gonna look around. Okay. And is anything stacked on top of it? It's like a scrapyard, right? So they got cars stacked on top of cars. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

Um so you see kind of like, you know, so say it's it's a rectangle shape, right? I mean, I guess we have a map.

SPEAKER_11 50:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:29

Alright, so this is the dump, right? Alright, so uh we'll say the main gate's right here. Okay. The dump kind of runs into the woods here, the tire fire's back over here, the lot's over here. I'm gonna say that we'll put it right here. And it's like a um I don't know what you would call it, like a uh an a you know, like a maintenance entrance. So it's like one of those just like brick buildings with just a door.

SPEAKER_12 51:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 51:06

You know, and then like it'll have a ladder down. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 51:09

Nothing stacked on top.

SPEAKER_01 51:11

So, but like, I would say there's probably like a board over the door. So, like, you know, you would have to contend with that. So you maybe, you know. You would have to pry, you'll have to pry the door open. You can tell from where you're at that the door will have to be pried open. And I know Kalo's brawn is shit.

SPEAKER_07 51:29

I'm rebellious, so I have a plus one to my brawn. Okay. So I can roll a four plus one.

SPEAKER_08 51:35

You want to make a big boom, right? I think it's the best approach. And you said if we get a drum, or is it Nadia that said we get a drum? Nadia said we get a drum.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

He said we get a drum.

SPEAKER_08 51:46

Okay. Or maybe it was Kalo. So we all get a drum.

SPEAKER_07 51:48

As he was pebbling off to the distance, like, we gotta get a drum.

SPEAKER_08 51:51

Okay. And we're gonna put our distraction at the other end. We need to hide in that shed over there. Okay. That way they go this way. It draws them away from the impound lot, and we hide over there. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:07

Oh no, and as we enter the shed, we find it's actually just an entrance.

SPEAKER_08 52:10

It's a mouth.

SPEAKER_13 52:12

It's a shed. Dun dun dungeon.

SPEAKER_07 52:15

It's a shed that has a shed inside of it. It's all right.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

No, it's an entrance into a roof cellar.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

All the underground caves that well, it's literally an entrance to the sewer.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 52:28

That's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 52:29

Ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

He wasn't paying attention to me at all. I literally said it before you said that, Dork.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

Yeah, I know. Well.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

Well.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

You have him over here eating a sandwich when you were saying.

SPEAKER_06 52:42

I wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 52:43

Yes, you absolutely were.

SPEAKER_06 52:45

Well.

SPEAKER_03 52:45

I bet you it's on video.

SPEAKER_07 52:49

Like a cat.

unknown 52:50

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_07 52:51

I imagine you wonder why you're here, Mr. Bond.

SPEAKER_08 52:54

What the fuck? I am absolutely curious. He was over there trying to hit a lighter.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

No, he would like.

SPEAKER_13 53:01

I did not. I wasn't trying to distract you. You absolutely distracting me now.

SPEAKER_10 53:08

I didn't take the sandwich caressingly like this. You absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 53:11

He wasn't on camera if he did that because it's behind the thing. Anyway, now. No. Well, even more. Set the boom to go boom.

SPEAKER_10 53:18

Boom. Let's figure out our plan here. I'm gonna turn this sandwich into a piece of fruit.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

Alright.

unknown 53:26

God damn it.

SPEAKER_07 53:30

Sorry, I just just I just did the fucking for the guys that worked the other day. It's like I didn't do the first part of the joke. I did the second part. I just walk into them, nothing hyperbolic, nothing. I was like, I'm gonna take this glass and turn it into a dick. Turn it into a dick.

SPEAKER_06 53:47

They're like, what?

SPEAKER_01 53:49

Okay. Neither here nor there. Yeah. We are trying to figure out how to create explosions inside this trash yard slash scrapyard slash uh entrance to a sewer. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 54:03

I'm waiting on them too.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

Teamwork makes the dream work. Alex is ridden off uh to where he needs to go. Uh where just rough idea.

SPEAKER_07 54:11

So they're down here, right?

SPEAKER_01 54:13

That's where they're gonna head. Main gate's here is where the inpound cars are. So I'm gonna say the car is right here.

SPEAKER_07 54:19

All right.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

That you gotta get to.

SPEAKER_07 54:21

Alright, so I'm gonna be trying to like trying to find a spot that like people have scurried under the fence.

SPEAKER_01 54:30

Yeah, you'll try to find a good Yeah, and I'm waiting on them to start. Okay to move. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 54:36

Wait a minute. What year was this car?

SPEAKER_01 54:39

Well I don't remember what year it was. It was my cousin's car. I want to say a 96. 96. I said the 96 was the year. It was a couple years old, so maybe like a 92, 93. I'm gonna depend.

SPEAKER_03 54:49

It had to be well, my sister got hers in 90.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

This also might have been later in the 90s, so it could have been a ninety-six and still been a couple years old.

SPEAKER_05 54:58

Oh, right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:59

While these guys are planning how to make that big booty. My cousin had a that's that's how I know that there's a drug stash spot in it. My cousin had a hopefully my Aunt Annabelle doesn't watch this podcast and my sister's Ryan. I'm ratting you out. I know you ain't watching. She might actually watch. I'm gonna head towards that shed and pry the try to open it up. Okay. I'm gonna work on it. Okay. Willie's trying to pry the shed open.

SPEAKER_02 55:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Use your brawn. Give me a brawn roll. Brawn. That's a D6. Mandy, what are you gonna be doing?

SPEAKER_03 55:32

While he's breaking and entering. Um I'm just gonna be like walking around the building seeing if there's anything back there. Do I see anything?

SPEAKER_01 55:47

Like behind this little building? I mean, it's a scrapyard, so I mean there's nothing behind it. It's just uh I want you to think of this this building, if you will, as literally just like it's literally just a four by four brick building with a door on it. Open that door.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

It's a pump house.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

Right. There's a it's got the pump in it and then a ladder down into the sewers, yes.

SPEAKER_03 56:14

Um you're brilliant. You said it already, and my brain is just on lag.

SPEAKER_01 56:19

Yeah, that's why I have a stoner moment icon.

SPEAKER_07 56:23

It's all good.

SPEAKER_01 56:24

Six? Six. And that's your best roll, right? That's the max of my so I'm gonna I'm making this um like a kind of using the index card RPG. I'm not gonna you're not gonna fail. You rolled a six, right? So you've pried it, you started prying it, so you're just gonna have to do it again. Yeah, before you get it open.

SPEAKER_08 56:45

Um I'm gonna look around and see if there's anything I can use to help me.

SPEAKER_01 56:49

Okay. Do you have uh use your uh uh uh brains or ask other smart people? I don't know.

unknown 56:58

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_12 57:00

That's a 20. Or that's a seven on a D20.

SPEAKER_01 57:03

On a D20? Yeah. Um I'm gonna split that. So that's a 20 on a D7. You find a pipe from the right. So I'm gonna give you an adversity because you are gonna fail to find anything. Or you're gonna find something, but you're gonna partially fail. So um you find something that's gonna give you the leverage. Um we're not gonna I'm not gonna give you the failure yet because I want to see what everybody else is doing because it's gonna cause things to proceed. So Mandy, what are you doing while he's trying to get into the pump house?

SPEAKER_03 57:40

I well, I say I find him um a section uh, you know, the tubing from chainling fence out of the out of the yard, and he's gonna try and pry with that.

SPEAKER_06 57:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 57:54

So you're looking for something specific. I'm gonna have you run roll your brains as well, because uh you gotta figure out a good good one you can grab, I guess. This one.

SPEAKER_06 58:05

Boop boop six.

SPEAKER_01 58:11

Six? On an eight. On an eight. Alright, so with a six, I'm gonna say that you find one that you can kind of pull out. Uh, but he has already started prodding with the other thing, so.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 58:22

Bob, what's Tanner doing? Tanner's gonna help open that bitch. Oh, you're gonna help use his strength to open it. Correct, he uses brawn.

SPEAKER_08 58:30

Okay. I need a D20.

SPEAKER_10 58:34

What did you it's on the floor somewhere?

unknown 58:38

Here we go.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

16. 16. Alright. So, uh Willie grabs a uh an old like shovel handle with just like the shovel was no good anymore, so it's just like the shovel with like a little bit of the metal bit left on it, and crams it in. Because he thinks this is gonna be a good thing to use, which I guess it is, it'll work. Because uh Tanner comes over, you know, with his fucking strength and goes to wrench, but when he does, the metal on metal of the door and the shovel makes this horrendous like screaking noise. Um and uh so like in the scrapyard, like scrapyard portion of the dump is like a like a small, like y'all have seen them like uh like you know construction office trailers, you know.

SPEAKER_02 59:38

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:39

It's one of those, and the lights come on the outside of it, and um silhouetted from the outside, you see this huge square shape of a man uh step out and he goes, Who's in my scrap yard? Uh Kalo, let's do your action while that's our well, you're waiting for the booms. I need to read it. So you guys hear that. Uh what are you guys gonna do? He can't see you yet.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:06

I'm waiting for a distraction.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

So if can I hear you hear the screechy noise happen too, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:11

If I can hear him yelling at him.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:13

And then he, yeah, you hear him start yelling.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:14

Then that's as good as a boom. I'm gonna make my move on the car.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:18

So I'm going to assume that at this point in the 90s, enough safety regulations were being observed that if a car was in the dump, the trunk is open.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:30

97 or Chrysler C bringer, whatever, you can get into a car through the trunk, through the back seats. So I am going to gopher through the car.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:41

Lots of cars you got in back then.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:43

Yeah, damn it. I shouldn't have looked at my text, sorry. I have no legs. I have no legs.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:51

I haven't heard that in the morning.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:55

Yeah, that was a bad time for that guy. He did not like hanging out with those skaters.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:01

I have no legs. It's a miracle.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:07

My friend Chad played that fucking shit for me. Was like, this movie, we should not be watching this movie. This movie is bad for us.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:16

Movie is bad for everybody. He's like, and then Jamie Lake is comedy.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:22

I'm like, you're not getting the right message from this movie, Chad.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:25

Um, I didn't realize why they called him Catherine the whole movie until I was like, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

Oh. Yeah, he's a fucking friendly ghost. Yeah. Anyway.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:38

Whoop, whoop, wah, wah, wah. So yeah, I am going to gopher through the car and uh get at this fake panel. I have got uh your basic uh screwdriver kit that any child carries with them a dime, a nickel, and a quarter. Okay, they fit most standard screen slots.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

Let me tell you something about this particular panel. You don't need tools, it pops right off.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:03

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:04

That's what makes it great. That's why we used it. And I'm gonna poppy pop. You you could hide your drugs in there as you were getting pulled over if you were quick enough. Oh, wait, wait, wait. This is a stealth mission. Yeah. You're using stealth mode.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:15

Yeah. And uh uh it is uh absolute t-shirt ninja time. Like he's taking the t-shirt off underneath the shirt and he's and doing the little shamag on his head.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

Bro, the so when I was looking for and then put the hat back on this shirt for the 90s factor. I was like, I just wish I could find like a uh coed naked shirt somewhere. Do you remember them fucking that's the most 90s thing? I was gonna say a big Johnson shirt. Or a big Johnson shirt.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

Technicolor. The ones that you touch it.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:49

Oh, yeah. That was early on. Oh, yeah, the color change once, yeah. That was yeah, that was we never had that shit at my house because we were poor. All right. Dirt 90s.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:59

I had one, I just remembered them.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:01

Yeah. Uh anyway, where were we? Uh old man Walker has stepped out of his fucking management office trailer. Get out of. Who's in my scrapyard after Doc? I'm gonna take care of this problem. Kalos diving through the back of this trunk, ninja style. I'm gonna make you roll me uh uh a flight to like uh get through this gate without uh I don't know, repercussions, if you will. Fuck yeah. Flight.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:38

And I can spin an adversity token to add another dice to that. Is that how this works?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:43

If yeah, if you want to.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:45

Okay. Can I decide? Do I have to decide before I roll? No. Okay. That is a seven out of an eight.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:55

Okay. Uh I'll say with that, you can do it. You're fine. I mean, you're gonna make some noise, but like they've already they're already making.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:02

Is it gonna be as much noise as they are making?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:04

Yeah, what's your brawn?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:06

My brawn is four.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:07

Okay, never mind. I was gonna say if you could hop fences like we used to.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:13

Well, I was it was more, I'm just was thinking more like uh him trying to do it stealthily. Yeah, how far away?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:19

Yeah, we we did. We absolutely did stealthily. You we would run and then we would like and start.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:25

Oh, doing the quick climb, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:26

The boys would go shh and hurdle, and then they would throw their legs over.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:30

Oh, yeah. I remember doing it. How many, how far away? I don't know how we didn't break our bones from the from the pump house shit. Um, I'd say you're probably a good fifty feet away or so.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:42

Fucking microphone. Plus, there for about 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:46

You're not that bad. I can't hear you.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:48

That's not a bad one Bob does it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:50

And you're jumping up. No, Bob does get this close.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:52

No, I'm actually screwed up and rubs his mustache on it.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:55

So last dump I saw, like, rats are always a problem at these fucking dumps, right? So like the neighborhood dogs dig underneath the fences. So there was a lot like five or six spots along some of these panels were just like new dog dig outs.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:10

That's kind of what I was thinking too, but like, yeah, you're trying to find the right one and like scurry underneath it. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:15

He's not a strong guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:16

Yeah, that's not his that's not his bag. He's a wee. And he's looking for us.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:20

I'm going to pull the lighter out of my backpack.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:28

Light my M80.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:31

And chuck it. Okay. Lord Humongous? Lord Humongous.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:36

At him or at him? Okay. Um Willy is initiating combat.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:42

I am. Um, what do you want me to roll? Is that a fight? Um, yeah, I guess. Technically.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:51

I'm buzzing.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:53

Alright. It happens. Are you okay?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:56

Rodents have a use unusual size, you know, from principle. That's what we find. You should totally put a picture of that when you guys are talking about red.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:03

Here's the gamble like that would be going into my head.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:05

No, I can make that happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

That's rock salt principal. Or is it buckshot? Is iconic.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

That's very my favorites.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:11

But knowing this guy, bad shit buckshot. Rob, I was gonna say probably rock salt. But buckshot is a very real fucking possibility, too. I got I've just got to this guy have a reputation in town of being a dickhead.

unknown 1:06:25

Huh?

SPEAKER_08 1:06:25

I mean, he's an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:27

Like, is there some rumor floating around that he's like with rock salt a murderer or anything like that?

SPEAKER_08 1:06:34

I mean, no, he's so you get a little fucking rock salt in your fucking bag.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:37

He's basically known for being scary as fuck. Um like he's not like yes, it's probably like he's never shot anybody, but he's shot his gun into the air many times. That's what I'm trying to add. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:52

Now on that work trailer, I'm assuming it's not skirted around the bottom, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:58

Uh no. Uh no, his would be skirted. It's like more of a permanent one. Okay. So I mean, I it's summer.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:07

I'm picturing there's an like an AC unit on the one side of the Yeah, it's got one hanging off a window. On that point in time, I'm going to chuck the M80 towards the side of the trailer that has the has the air conditioner on it.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:22

Gotcha. Okay. I like that better than chucking it at him. Chucking a quarter stick of dynamite at a random guy. I'm honestly, I'm not even going to make you roll for that because uh I can't think of a good thing to make you roll because you're not throwing it at him, so it's not fight. I mean, maybe flight to help you run away, but uh so you're gonna throw it. Uh it's gonna fucking pop, boom. Uh I'm gonna boom.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:54

Is that better? No, I'm sorry, I was picturing something radically different. Oh. It just basically is gonna hit. Halo's working, he's fantasizing about blowing up his fucking boss's car.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:06

Right. He's he's expecting a huge explosion, so like he hears this like just regular M80 pop, and he's just like, uh, but it does. It clinks off of the air conditioner, it and that's metal. So as it pops, it does make a louder noise. So he's gonna be like, I'll get you, and he goes walking around the edge. So I'm gonna give you guys time to yes, jump down into the sewer and I don't know, kind of make your okay. Ascapace, if you will.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:34

It's a boom.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:35

Oh, okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:43

I don't think it's what you want.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:44

So you're in the you're making your way to towards your car that we know nothing about.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:50

Correct. You guys less you guys know the better.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:53

Zeke is following us, right? Oh yeah, I forgot about Zeke. Yeah, Zeke is with you guys.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:57

The unfortunate part of that means that like he has not planned for a a uh a uh a second thing to happen.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:06

So Tanner, how are we gonna get him down the ladder? Are you just gonna upper body your way down this ladder?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

Yeah, I'm fine. Uh so just for purposes of game and uh my own personal feelings about it and not wanting to put situations like that into the game, Tanner can always get wherever he needs to get. With either his strength or his bike or whatever. We're not we're not gonna get away.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:33

I was gonna say we don't fucking talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:36

The magical power of the kid is parap is is has got a handicap, but he's still fucking one of the crew. Yeah, yeah. Alright, so we're down. If nobody's gonna argue how Scooby can fucking talk right, like I mean he's we have established that he is scaled a water tower many times. Oh, it's very crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

He made it all the way up carrying everyone. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:01

He sure did. I completely forgot. Yeah, he climbed the damn water. And with his gigantism, he had a disability. So his heritage, his body was still fucked up at that point.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:13

His French racial uh heritage was also handicapped.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:19

Okay, crickets. Crickets. I mean, I don't know if I I I listen, I only got 31 subscribers, Bob. I'm not trying to chase away the entire French audience. We could get some French Canadians, okay? It's a potential thing. So we're down.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:37

Sorry, France.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:38

Sorry, Frank.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:39

Take it all back. I take it all back.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:43

All right, it's Belgium we gotta watch out for. Yeah, right? They sent us JCVD. You can't trust them. That's true. I am in Vensayer. Look at me. Anyway.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:54

So we're down.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:56

I mean, you're able you're able to escape. You're able to get into the thing. Bob's able to get down, Tanner's able to climb down. Um uh Kalo, you see them like I I mean I was part of the whole action as they were you saw them open that. You saw him come out.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:13

I picture him looking up as he's like putting the panel back on through the windshield, watching them down the hill.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:19

Kind of, so like, yeah, you're looking over as you're peeking over the windshield, you see kind of the like you are see that like the that like bright flash of uh of an M80 going off. Yeah. So and then you see where they're at. So like, you know, do your thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:38

Okay. Uh well, my thing is not getting capped by a drug dealer. So yeah, no, I get that. Um, as far as Kalo is concerned, currently they are doing their part of the plan, which is running running interference.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:55

So he is going to get on his bike and pedal his ass as fast as he can to his fucking like dead drop for fucking um let's say for story's sakes, the only way to get out of the junkyard at this point is to run down that sewer and okay. All right. I need you to go there. I got you. I got you. I get that Kalow is somewhat of a selfish prick. Yeah. But uh so we'll say that uh for purposes of story and to not make it sound like a then I'm going to try and uh he he goes he's going towards the front entrance to check it out. He's kind of scoping things out now. Yeah. And so, like by the gate is no longer.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:42

Okay. The back edge of the dump and get to the pump out.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

Um, I guess give me a flight and see if you can do it without without sneaking or without breaking sneak? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:52

Do I have it twice? That is a two out of an eight.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:03

Oof.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:04

Yeah. How about that?

SPEAKER_01 1:13:07

Um, so knew the vanilla ice wanna be.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:13

It doesn't sneak well. You're definitely gonna have to use the MA. I do have a fistful of boom. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:22

You you tend to get it two steps, and as you drag your right foot up, it catches a rock and down.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:28

Yeah, there's like a bit of wire hanging on that so you can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:37

Shut the fuck up, great little fucking Okay, so failure is bad, but not a disaster. Alright, so he spots you. Yeah. He says, fantastic.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:55

Uh hey, you that lol boy? Uh I got a question for you. Um, and I like the M80 and just say, eat shit. Okay. And I'm gonna throw it over. I got a question for you. Eat shit. All right, and I'm just gonna throw it into a random pile of trash. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:22

So the M80 hits and pops. Uh I got a question for you. Fuck you. All right, you're able to run away. Uh you jump down. Uh uh. I'm gonna say you have to like rather than climb down the ladder, you're gonna have to do like the uh like kind of slide down it.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:46

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:46

So you're gonna have a slightly tweaked uh ankle as well. All right. You're gonna hear uh from the top, you damn kids.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:58

You say slide, I'm picturing fell like the last one. Yeah, well, I was trying to be nice.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:04

Eating shit off the ladder. Yeah, you're trying to climb down it so fast you miss like the last three, and it's kind of like you don't miss them. I don't I'm I'm sure you've done it before.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:12

You like your foot hits them last week, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:15

Your foot hits them, but like you're not doing it on purpose. You're going down them.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:18

Ladder at fucking work. I was coming down it and missed a rung, and it just went down way faster than I wanted to get.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:24

Yeah, yeah, that's it's not a good time. Alright, so you guys have now dropped down into the sewer.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:31

Oh hey guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:33

Um cool. Did you just try to what?

SPEAKER_09 1:15:39

No, I was uh I thought this guy had more beer. I was like uh trying to find a beer, and uh uh he found me.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:46

So but he he I thought it was us, it was you. What? Never mind, yeah. Yeah. Now I I understand why my mom, my dad doesn't talk to your mom anymore.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:05

Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:11

All right, I don't know. Like, I my mom's scary. My mom's scary as fuck. Like, I get why a person wouldn't want to fucking talk to. I don't want to fucking talk to him.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:17

Like, I get him. Like, I am forced to love him by Midwestern standards, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:23

But it's the cousins that don't really understand that they're more alike than they think at this point in time.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:28

I get it. Each one has the perspective of it's like trying to talk to something that's almost human. Yeah. Like something between chimpanzee and man. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:38

When really he is the yang to Cody's yang.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:42

Yeah, I get it. All right. So you guys are now down in the sewer. Um, or not in the sewer, but in those kind of drainage tunnels that we've that you explored last time. Um you said I'm close to the You know that the that was close to the coordinates where the SOS was coming from, yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:03

And I've got, ooh, I have I picked up that walkie-talkie.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:07

Yes, you have the walkie yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:09

Has it started like I'm gonna turn it on. Okay. I've turned it off. I don't have the charger, I don't have D batteries to put it.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:16

Alright, so you turn the walkie-talkie on, and it crackles, and you hear the that rhythm rhythmic SOS. Um yeah, I just think it's gonna be an SOS. Uh danger SOS. Um, you know, something like that.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:40

And it's like the the the Morse code for ants are eating. Is it like tapping on the pipes coming through the ray like the walkie-talkie, or is it like the I'm pressing the button and creating the static?

SPEAKER_01 1:17:54

I would say it's more of the I'm pressing the button. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:59

Um the intermittent pausing. Yeah, well, the walkie's sorry.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:04

I don't think that time had like a feature you could keep just like beep at the line.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:08

Yeah, it's that that's what it is. Okay that instead of yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:13

So I notice it. I'm gonna be all like, um anybody remember that map in the room from when we found Eli.

SPEAKER_12 1:18:23

Like there was that big map on the wall. Did anybody else see that? I know I did.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:30

Mandy's like, let me check my notes. I was I mean, I saw pretty baked last week. There's a lot of uh footage of you showing Bob a picture of you being high. It's pretty funny. I'm pretty sure it's I'm pretty sure at one point she holds up a picture to you and she goes, Do you know what this means? And we're all like, What? And she like shows it around, and her it's just like a picture of eyes. It looks like Towly from South Park, and they're just blood red.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:59

Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what that was?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:06

It was it was the what was the topic of discussion just prior to that happening?

SPEAKER_01 1:19:12

Oh well, you had eight too many gummies.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:14

Oh no, no, no, no, no. Well conversation having at the time. Yeah, if you looked, I just threw it away, but at the bottom, I was about to lose my fucking mind and my eyes were crossing, and I was they weren't talking. Go back and look at the subject matter. So I wrote at the bottom of it, this is too much. So it wasn't stoner eyes, it's I am about to lose my shit eyes. Because I was I was I was kind of done listening to a certain topic. Um yeah, that was the topic.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:47

I see.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:48

Oh I was tired of listening to you talk about fisting. I was really fed up. It wasn't stoner eyes.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:55

You gotta be vocal about that shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:56

Yeah, fed up. I'm gonna say you're gonna have to verbally pull the handbrake on that one. I was fun to stop talking that one. Part of that map.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:07

The map that we yeah, things the map of a ball that stated danger don't go.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:16

Danger don't go.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:17

So no, it's not it's not the danger don't go area. It's the uh the stinky stinky area.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:27

Okay, alright.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:29

The danger don't go now that you've studied the map and uh the sewer system or is really close to underneath the uh uh fraternal order.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:41

Okay, so I'm gonna look around and go, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_11 1:20:46

No, take that back. We're in the stinky area.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:49

Yeah, it's stinky.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:51

And I'm gonna like kind of look up at the the dump and the tire fire and look back at him. Back up at the dump and like you don't say.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:02

You don't say do you I want you to use the the few brain cells you have left.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:11

And I want you to realize does this smell like our everyday town to you?

SPEAKER_09 1:21:17

My nose is done with this town, like everything stink. I it's there'll just everything is just the different shades of bad.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:26

They get in the shower and they go, and then it's just like ash and like a black snot rock.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:30

Everybody's shooting black snot rockets out of their nose every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:33

Yeah, every day.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:34

Nobody's had a yellow booger in like 42 years.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:37

No, it's all can I tell what this smell is? Is it like human excrement or anything? Um decay. Decay.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:44

So it's like decay.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:45

Okay. Um yeah, I am living every X-File nightmare Cody has ever had at this point in time. Like dun dun dun. Like, he is replaying the new episode of the Edge Files where the the flank guy, the fluke man, is like living in the sewers. You fluke man. Oh yeah. Uh so I triggered something here.

SPEAKER_10 1:22:10

At this point, yeah, I I had dreams about about X-Files 2, mostly about Sully, but there was one about Mulder that was just not great.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:19

Okay, so you guys just made me think about Supernatural and the living in the police sewers.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:24

And I'm like, all right, so Oh no, it wasn't for pretty good. Uh you guys kind of I mean David Yukami's cute guy. You notice that Zeke is kind of like uh holding his stomach like he don't feel good, like he's kind of queasy.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:40

Oh you good, bro? Hey, I don't I didn't cook it, I just washed the dish with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:46

He's like, uh, listen, uh I think there's something that you guys need to know about me, and uh I this might be the right time to show you. Uh it's gonna be kind of scary, and I need you guys not to freak out.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:05

Um exactly the comforting words you want to hear in a sewer. I know, right? Down there by a man with a shotgun. Are your pants gonna stay on for this conversation?

SPEAKER_08 1:23:15

He's not gonna powder is he gonna pull a powder on us? He's trying to rape us right now. What the Tanner? What's happening? We just left church group and we gotta worry about it there. Now we gotta worry about you.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:33

No, we gotta worry about him. Zneek just can't stand.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:37

Listen, I I just need you guys to promise me that you can be cool because this is a huge secret that if it gets out, like there's a lot of danger.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:48

He's one of them gays. You're gonna tell us he's gay.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:51

It's okay. I mean we like you. Yeah, but that's not what I was gonna tell you. Uh I'm cool with it, but just don't gay it up my way.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:02

I mean, I'm not I'm not trying to offense a waistband of like mushrooms and like ammunition or whatever. We're talking this guy's stash, so like he's got no no offense.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:12

Like, I'm not trying to uh you guys are all cool dudes, but neither none of you are my type. Good, good to know. Good to know.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:20

Why not?

SPEAKER_03 1:24:21

Well Yeah, no, he's got his feelings hurt because you don't like him.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:25

Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:26

Listen, you put him in the fields, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:29

I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm not into the country boys. And he's listen, I just want to be friends, okay? There's nothing. Are you attracted to me? I mean, I'm No. Alright. Tell me the cool thing now.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:44

Your dick.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:44

No, the cool thing is not my dick, I promise you. I just need you to promise me you'll keep a secret. Yeah. Don't tell nobody I'm gay either in this town, because that'll probably be bad for me.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:58

But you know yeah, they'd throw you in the tire fire.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:00

Yeah. I feel like this is the 90s and it's still not cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:05

Alright. We don't talk about Kevin no more.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:09

Poor Kevin. Like you have triggered now. Kevin, who? Yeah. The the switch is flipped in Cody's brain. Like, he is now like the conspiracy theorist paranoid has like clicked on. What what do you gotta show us?

SPEAKER_01 1:25:26

Alright, listen. Just follow me. So, uh, and then he leads you down tunnel a little bit. Um and then uh he takes you and you get to this place of the sewer where it's kind of like opens up a little bit. Uh and that that kind of smell of decay is coming from that's this area. Um and as you guys step in, you know, like he's got his light and he goes, uh he's got like a flashlight because it's darker in this area, and he he hands it to Kalo and he goes, Listen, don't freak out no matter what happens. And he closes his eyes, and then when he opens them, his eyes are glowing. And you see a shape come from the far side of the uh come lumbering, kind of like a large, huge, like probably seven, seven, eight foot tall shaped, uh vaguely man-shaped. And as it approaches and it steps into the flashlight, you see that it's not man-shaped.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:44

It's a Solomon Grundy.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:46

It's beaver-shaped. Upright, standing with the body of a man, and the body of a beaver. You guys see standing in front of you the all-powerful beef squatch. So like Yeah, it kind of starts making those noises.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:12

So like you hang out with No. No, the the beef? Yeah. You hang out with the beef squatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:24

Well yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:26

Um That's cool as fuck.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:29

Hey, you wanna get high?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:32

Uh he says yes.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:35

Alright, well, Kalo is gonna start making preparations.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:38

Alright, Kalo's rolling a joint to be drugs with a beaver. Alright.

SPEAKER_10 1:27:44

A man sized a man sized fucking what would like uh I guess the safety same is sentient? Like it's like it's self aware?

SPEAKER_01 1:27:54

Yes. Uh well, let's see how everybody reacts and then we'll get into the I've got

SPEAKER_07 1:28:00

Kalo is instantly charmed. Yeah. God. This is magical. I accept this.

SPEAKER_12 1:28:05

Got so many questions. Um, first off, that's supposed to be a myth.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:12

Yeah, he's he's real. Two. Well, kind of kinda real.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:20

You just added another question. Two. What is the shit window with your eyes? Um.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:26

Well, alright. Now it's time for the exposition portion of our day. No, go ahead. Ask your last question so I can answer them all. Three.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:36

Are you him and him you, or you control him, or does he control you? Uh yes. Ultraman. Like I like squatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:45

Alright, so he's like, alright, sit down. This is gonna take a while. Um, I heard Stand. My my my birth parents were scientists. And they uh well, quite frankly, they did a lot of experiments, as one would do for a 90s movie and or TV show to create a child with superpowers.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:14

We combined the finest ones. Einstein, Oppenheimer, beef squatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:23

So they um they basically genetically created the beef squatch. Didn't do what?

SPEAKER_06 1:29:32

Um, you're good. I watched that upgrade.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:41

Uh they genetically created the beef squatch. So it was kind of like a so I got promoted. You ever seen the movie Twins? Uh huh. Right? Yeah. All right. So it's like a twin situation. Yeah. When they created the beef squatch, there was some human DNA left over, and that was me.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:00

Okay, so my question is which one were they wanting to keep? Which one is the Danny DeVito?

SPEAKER_01 1:30:06

Uh I'm the Danny DeVito.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:11

Depending on what they were going for, yeah. Like, are you I mean no Zeke the is Zeke the Danny DeVito? And like they were basically watches the oh, look at this.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:18

They were basically uh so the mother, my mother couldn't have children, so they were using different DNA combinations trying to create make it work, and they you know, the strong genetic uh birthing strength of the beaver. Sure. And uh children, you know, and um beavers have been known to give it away. Basically, what happened was is it was like it was like a twin thing, you know, like it was one egg and then it split, and I came out human, and he came out Squatchy Beaver Squatchy. Uh so this is my half-brother, Squatch. He can't talk because of the teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Um he's a really cool dude, I promise you.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:14

Hell yeah. Uh uh. And Kalo is just like all rational thought is going on. So I haven't like still rolling.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:26

That's crazy. So I haven't been able to communicate with him with my so like I got this telepathy thing going on with him. With my squatch eyes, with my brother, uh, we can communicate. Um but I also have some like we're not well, we'll get into that stuff later. I can do some other things.

SPEAKER_10 1:31:48

I'm gonna hit him with the old mega squatch beams.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:51

Exactly.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:52

I'm do you think your mind can withstand my squatch beams? And they're all hairy and shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:59

I have some other abilities that I haven't quite decided yet. So it's like instead of lasers, it's like Muppet arm.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:07

Tanner. Is this what you've been talking about this whole damn time? Yes, that is that is. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:14

He's so he's the same age as me.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:16

So yeah, we he's Hey bro, do you believe in magic? It's real.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:20

Now here's the real. So listen, uh the there's more. The fraternal order, right? Listen, they're not good dudes.

SPEAKER_10 1:32:33

Are they gonna introduce us to the Tooth Fairy? I have a suspicion that's real too.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:38

Uh maybe. Timeout. No. Before Tanner, cover your ears for a second. Are you gonna tell us the boogeyman's real?

SPEAKER_01 1:32:47

No. Bro. Santa Claus? This is some kind of freak scientific occurrence. Like the Santa Claus Boogeyman, no. I'm just saying. No, Tanner, nah, it's fine. You're you're good. Those guys are definitely real.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:59

I don't know, man. I read this book about like these science guys making dinosaurs and shit. So, like I think it could happen. We're good.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:06

Yeah, that's what that movie's coming out this summer. It looks awful.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:10

Where do you think they got the inspiration for that movie from? Was it Beaver Splash? It was from my parents' uh journals. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:23

Um now he's got the tyrannosaur roaring my head. Right. Beaver guy going.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:30

Uh so do you have any other questions for me about beef?

SPEAKER_07 1:33:38

Only about two fucking million, but like nothing that's.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:42

Yeah, he's been down here for a while, he's impatient. Yeah. Sorry, bro. Here. Guest fires. Oh, here you go. And Beef Squatch like pulls out his human-shaped, but like beaver fur covered hands and sparks the joint.

SPEAKER_10 1:33:57

No, I I really need him to have a pair of hemostats. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:02

He's got he just like he reaches in his he reaches in his fanny pack.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:08

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:09

And pulls out like it's a hemostat.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:14

Like.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:24

Uh yeah, so Beef Squatch is real. Zeke and parties and parties. Hell yeah, bro. So, uh the fraternal order of the brother of the beaver is up to no good. Alright. Um I know, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:34:43

Fucking the the the narky old white people are good, who knew? The judges and lawyers and so, um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:56

They think that my brother is some kind of actual like beef squatch that like some kind of like long forgotten legend or some stupid shit like that, and they like plan on doing some kind of like sacrifice or some shit from what he had just told me. With our brain connection that we have.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:25

There's uh there's an obvious correlation that is not click clicking in uh Stoney's head here. Okay. Eventually he's gonna get around to asking, and he's like so there's a real beef squatch. No, they're just like science beef squatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:49

No, he's not real.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:50

They're real but he's a real one.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:53

No, there's not a real one.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:55

But you guys have got the magic and the ritual for the real beef squatch. You wouldn't do that. And he almost falls over coughing. Because you wouldn't do that if beef squatch wasn't real.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:09

I mean, as far as me and my brother know, there's not a real beef squatch. His oh, by the way, we keep calling him beef squatch, his name is uh uh Jim.

SPEAKER_10 1:36:21

What was what was Beaver's real name?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:24

I don't know. And leave it to beaver. Let me look it up. We'll look it up, that'll be his name. God, they might have actually named it Beaver. That was a horrible time for people.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:32

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:33

What was are you telling me that Beaver Squatch's last name is Cleaver?

SPEAKER_04 1:36:38

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:39

Squatch Cleaver. And Beat's last name is Cleaver. This is my brother Ted. Oh, it was Theodore Beaver Cleaver.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:47

You're right. Yeah. It was. I I yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:50

So Teddy Cleaver. Actually, no, his name is uh god damn it. What was the one half of the headbangers that became Beaver Cleavage for like 30 seconds? Mosh. Or was it Thrash? I don't remember when it was. I'm trying to remember his real name, too. I think his real name's like Chester or some shit. Anyway, wrestling's a really crazy thing.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:11

Uh Beaver Cleavage. I remember that one.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:13

There was a character that never really took off, but that was they did vignettes for named Beaver Cleavage. Okay. As you can imagine, the vignettes were uh like the old TV show, uh, except for Beaves mom had giant fucking tits. That was the joke. And he was always this was mid-90s wrestling, and McMahon was like, put titties on it.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:38

And there was always titties on everything and there was always a reference to drinking milk. Yeah. Like all right. Because it was that classy.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:47

Because titties. Uh he tells you that I had a question. Yeah. So like regular Sasquatch is known to have like a skunky, terrible smell. Yeah. What exactly was beef squatch smell like? You're in close enough proximity that like is he overpowering the bodies?

SPEAKER_01 1:38:04

Here's something that may or may not uh make you uh swear off vanilla flavored things. He smells like vanilla. Oh yeah, no, I know that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:38:13

Does they use beaver glam?

SPEAKER_01 1:38:14

Or more what is it, castorum? He smells like castorum, so he smells like vanilla. It's wonderful. Okay.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:21

I just want to lick this guy's buttons.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:24

Anyone else wanna a pleasant monster to hang out with? Smells like vanilla smoked people. Pretty cool. Yeah. Got a goofy set of teeth.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:33

Anyway, he's gonna tell you that the fraternal order is planning a ritual for uh the next this coming up weekend. Uh-huh. Um that's bad shit. You know? You know, you know. Yeah. Bad shit. So you guys gotta stop it, right? Because I'm will you help me stop it?

SPEAKER_07 1:38:56

We are we are Bud Brothers now.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:58

Yeah. Uh but butters and weed.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:02

As you guys have like hit this joint and bonded, right?

SPEAKER_08 1:39:06

I find myself finding a corner and just kind of like squatting down and realizing all the stuff I've moderated in these chat rooms that I thought may or may not have been true has just now clicked. And it's just turning, right? Like, yeah. And then I go, because I'm always worried about becoming like my father. Now that thought's rolling through my head of Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:37

Holy shit. I am becoming my father.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:40

What if birds aren't real? Oh fuck. Holy surveillance cameras.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:46

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:47

I my mind is blown.

SPEAKER_12 1:39:49

Like I have always had the possibility it was there, but now it's like full-on turned on.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:55

You were you were basically at the childhood version of the Lovecraftian edge of madness. Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:02

I have just seen my equivalent of an eldritch horror in my mind come to life.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:07

You've glimpsed the unspeakable.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:09

I've glimpsed the unspeakable horrors. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:12

Um not say it here.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:16

So he's like, hey, uh, I know this is a lot. He's gonna come over and talk to you. Zeke's gonna come over and talk to you. He's gonna be like, hey, I know this is a lot, bro. Uh I just like he's my brother, so it's always been normal to me. And then our parents died, and we had to hide him because nobody else knew about him, and just kind of freaking out, you know. Like, I don't know what to do. I'm just a teenager myself, you know what I mean? Do you feed him? I mean, so he he gets his way down to the lake and eats down there.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:55

That was the only thing my like teenage brain could go to.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:58

Yeah. Who feeds him? Who feeds him? Um no, I get the. He doesn't just I mean, he eats kind of more like a beaver than a people. I mean I mean, yeah. He's just some rotten fish and like people's my cousin. No people. Okay. He's not eating people.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:15

Like, I get family, and you guys are more than me and Kay me and Kalo.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:23

Right, like sometimes your family's a little weird, right?

SPEAKER_08 1:41:26

Like I I get that.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:29

Um Kalo didn't. No. I went right over his hatted head.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:37

This you're right. I don't like you any less, Zeke. I just uh I think I need to get to my computer.

SPEAKER_11 1:41:50

I need to plug in for a second.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:52

Just tell me you're not gonna you're not gonna tell them that he's real, right? Like No. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:58

I won't. We're good. I'm not gonna tell anybody about your glowing weird fucking eyes.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:04

Four letters appear in K Los and like a machine gun.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:10

You big trouble in Little China fucking beat squatch and it appeared. Yeah, I'm not gonna put that out on the internet. People are I have a reputation online I uphold. Um I have to monitor the crazy with with the sane people. But now I think it's just changed to where the crazy people are now the sane people, and the the sane people are the crazy ones.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:39

Dude, I'm telling everyone I know that beaver squatch is real.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:44

Because he is. But you but you promised me that you wouldn't do that. I promised not to do that. Yeah. I mean So I won't. They'll hunt him down.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:56

Like kid turbines. They come after him. I promise not to kill the Beaver Squatch.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:00

I promise not to kill the Beaver Squatch. You solemnly swear. Alright, so uh he is gonna tell you that uh he would like to uh have Beav Squatch start staying at the like clubhouse place that you guys found. Um he didn't want to do that without talking to you first. He actually didn't know where he was for a minute. He just knew we were hiding.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:25

Uh I gotta Eli know about him.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:28

Yeah, I'd say we I vote we don't warn you.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:31

He's about to.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:32

They'll figure it out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:33

Yeah. He's chill. It's just gonna be funny as shit.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:37

You think this big beaver guy is just gonna be laying on the couch in there one day and just I don't know. He looks like he's gonna be a little bit more than a little bit. I mean, how many walk in like this?

SPEAKER_01 1:43:49

I'm gonna introduce him. I'm not gonna just have him spring on him. Oh, man, maybe please, please, please, can we spring him on Eli? Okay, I guess we can spring him on Eli.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:59

Have you ever seen that movie uh young Frankenstein? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You come in like in the uh putting on the writs, and he comes like we're gonna scare this kid back to his house. Yeah. Scared straight out of the sewer. All right. Um uh wait, they they said bikes in that movie too.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:26

Or wait, that's a show. Uh that's scared straight.

SPEAKER_13 1:44:30

Uh man, I it was also late 90s.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:34

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't watch that one, honestly. Like, I watched Cops. You saw it. You totally saw it. I'm sure I did.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:40

It was two in the morning, you were sitting on a couch, it was on TV, and this black guy with half an afro who was ugly and mean and old as fuck, looked at the camera and he said, Boy, what the fuck you in here for?

SPEAKER_13 1:44:52

And some little blonde 12-year-old was like, I stole a bike. He said, bikes, bikes. And then he made him hold his pocket. Hold my pocket. And he said, he said three things. He's like, When you get in the mouth, you want to get up in the morning? You want to get my cigarettes, you want to get my coffee, and my dick it horns.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:11

And he dramatic the fact he paused like that and just opened his eyes.

SPEAKER_13 1:45:18

You get that too.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:22

You won't have to suck. And then he he put his hand on his pocket. And the kid had to hold his pocket the rest of the time, he called it. Uh alright. Oh my god. Horrifying.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:37

So uh you all jump on your respective bikes. Um how does what?

SPEAKER_08 1:45:49

What's the I'm gonna look to Nadia before the end of this, and I'm gonna go you're you're cool with our. You're awful quiet, Nadia.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:57

How do you respond to this giant beaver-shaped man, dude?

SPEAKER_02 1:46:06

I have no idea.

SPEAKER_11 1:46:08

I just need to know I'm not the only one that's like what the fuck?

SPEAKER_08 1:46:12

What the fuck? Yeah, it's I get it, bro.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:15

The whole lot of what the fuck.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:16

Tanner's always known beaver squash was real.

SPEAKER_10 1:46:19

Yeah. Uh it is is illuminating and he's happy about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:22

Yeah, I get it.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:23

Tanner's into it.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:24

Vindicated, yeah. He's vindicated, but he's not he's not cloating.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:27

Yeah, yeah. That's fine. He's looking on to his next victory. Who is next on this list of I could be in a loop? Who are next? Is they or is they ain't?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:37

All right. All right. So y'all jump on your respective bikes and pedal home. Um, you get to your house, houses, and uh Alex, you walk in and uh your mom is posted up on the couch as it's later in the night. Uh she just got off of her shift. Uh you smell the stank of I don't know what they drink in Indiana. What's Indiana's beer of choice? You live there. You lived there. What kind of what brand did they drink piss? Uh she's drinking her uh Wonkey's beast.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:12

I'm drinking my own piss. She's drinking rust.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:17

She's drinking her uh murder.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:20

You can't just get pissed off the street. That's right. What?

SPEAKER_01 1:47:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:24

You can't trust it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:25

She's drinking her piss beer. Better to have a tight. The stink of the stink of piss beer is in the air. You can tell she's had a long night at the factory.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:37

Been sitting there in the chair long enough that it's warm in the hand.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:39

Yeah. Like Letterman's doing a top ten list.

SPEAKER_13 1:47:45

Uh what do they make at the factory? Or do they just sit there and drink? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:48

What do they make at the factory?

SPEAKER_07 1:47:50

Oh shit. This would be something fucking like uh it's gotta be something like horrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:55

I watched it. Yeah, I'd say like a laundry. You worked at a lot of factories. What was the worst one you worked at? The most boring, tedious one you worked at.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:02

I'm not gonna go there, but I will uh talk about this Kids in the Hall episode I saw one time.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:07

Where they had to go into work and they stood in a line, and their job was to just put their arms in a in a trough full of dead fish.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:14

Okay. That's what she does.

SPEAKER_10 1:48:16

And then one day they came into work and there was uh like a big you know what?

SPEAKER_01 1:48:20

Yeah, there's a lake in town. She works at like fishery.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:24

Never mind it was robot that just put a tank. When I was doing temp work, one of the factories I worked at assembled uh medical beds. Okay. And all the all the old ladies that worked there, yeah, you know the place. Yeah, all the old ladies that work there are hobbits. Yeah, right? They're all this tall. And like the assembly line for their tools is over the belt, but it's all strung for hobbit people. But the night shift is staffed by regular humans, yeah. And it's really awful because you're bonking into shit at fucking height, and everything is all right. So uh she works I picture as like she's annoyed because she's the only human-sized person amongst tiny people, aerosol cans.

SPEAKER_10 1:49:01

They make aerosol cans.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:02

All right, she works at a factory where they make aerosol cans. Yeah, sure. It's tedious. She's staring at Letterman, she hates her job, she dislikes her life, she's intoxicated.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:15

Uh I uh very quietly hang my key up. Yeah. Say that I am home. I am going to start working on homework, and I am going to skip the second step because that is the creaky one, and hit the far right side of the stairwell and go up.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:34

Right as you get to the top of the steps, your pager starts beeping. You know who it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:49:39

Can I can imagine?

SPEAKER_01 1:49:40

Yeah. Uh, so you gotta sort that out uh in your own time. Uh uh Cody gets home, uh, does the special knock, his dad unlocks all the doors. Um you come in. You're he can tell you're upset. Them Beaver Lodge folks didn't get to you, did they?

SPEAKER_08 1:50:11

Uh no. I um I did what I asked you to do. Um yeah, the millers are there's something going on at the lodge. I haven't got it yet, but I'm gonna get it. I'm getting real friendly with Zeke. Okay, like you want to do. I yeah, I think maybe one night I need to have a sleepover. Hell yeah. I'm gonna get uh I'll find it out for you, Dad. Alright. Um good job, boy. That's the creepiest thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:45

Did um hell yeah, get them teenage.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:48

I never really asked you this, Dad. Um why do we lock the door so much?

SPEAKER_01 1:50:56

Well, the people in this town can't be trusted. It's just the people? Yeah. Just the people in this town can't be trusted. There's something going on at that beaver lodge. I know it. Okay.

unknown 1:51:11

Good.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:11

I thought Don't tell me you're believing in some of them crazy fairy tales like some kind of beaver squatch type monster. No, no, no, no. That's a we don't believe in crazy things in this family.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:23

You're right, you're right. Fairy tales are crazy, Dad. Uh, that's why we never had the tooth fairy. Um, Santa Claus never came. That's right. Only but for some reason Only facts.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:35

But here's your birthday book. Here's your birthday book. It's about it's about how your 90-year-old or some wash a fucking dish about existentialism. It's your book about existentialists. Happy eighth birthday.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:49

All right. Sorry. But for some reason on Easter, you didn't believe in the Easter bunny, but you had me hide all the extra for some reason.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:58

Well, that was fun for me to that was fun for me to watch you look at me.

SPEAKER_08 1:52:02

That was fun for me. That was for me. You're good, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:52:06

Clean your fucking room now.

SPEAKER_08 1:52:07

Yeah, you know, it's fine. Um, I'm gonna go. I've got I've got to uh you know my my chat room.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:15

Yeah, hey, good job. And he he tosses you a disc and you look at it, and it's like 300 minutes of AOL. That's how we did it.

SPEAKER_08 1:52:26

That's how we did it back then. Did you take all the all the free disc from the newspaper stands again? Maybe. Hey, I don't care. Whatever. Thanks, Dad.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:37

Uh that was very thoughtful of you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:41

I'm glad you're home and take care of your mom, do that thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:52:46

I get home, make dinner, take care of my mom, and just sit and try and defrag and process what contemplate the day.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:56

Yeah, what all happened? I got you throughout the course.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:59

Uh your mom wouldn't happen to look like a beavesquatch in a nightgown, would he? That would be hilarious.

SPEAKER_13 1:53:12

A fucking eight-foot-tall beaver in a fucking nightgown and a goddamn like like nightcap? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, the bear cap just walked through my grandma's kitchen and went squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. Pointed its finger at me and walk back out.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:28

Remember when the Barenstein bears or Barenstein bears or however the fuck is uh mom bear would be dressed in her pajamas? Yes. That's what Beevesquatch looks like.

SPEAKER_07 1:53:38

No, I just I just had that uh hoodwinked in my head.

SPEAKER_01 1:53:43

Oh yeah, the woodwinked, yeah, that's another good reference of that. All right. So uh you all oh yeah, uh Tucker Tanner, I don't know why I called you Tucker. Tanner gets home and his dad's um completely assed out on the couch, just like sitting upright, uh legs spread, bottle over, tipped over on the ground, the mouth open, just snoring loudly. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:15

Um I'm gonna wheel over and I'm gonna pick up the bottle. I'm gonna look for the cap and not find it. And just put the bottle back on the coffee table. I'm gonna grab the afghan we have sitting over on that old ass recliner, and I'm gonna cover him up. I'm gonna wheel to the bathroom and brush my teeth.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:36

I'm gonna grab my journal, and I'm gonna start writing a love letter to Nadia. Roses are flowers. Flowers are flowers too. I think you're pretty. No. But I'm gonna scratch it the fuck out. I'm gonna start over. I think you are flower. Flowers smell good. I like you, Nadia. Nope.

SPEAKER_10 1:55:12

Hi. And I'm just gonna cross that shit out, and I'm gonna go to bed.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:17

Oh, okay. Alright, uh, before you go to bed, everybody's kinda chilling, and I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:26

Last variation's just a picture of a chicken with a heart in the city.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:28

There's a uh radio on in your house, so you hear this message, which I'll put the sound in louder for our audience.

SPEAKER_00 1:55:35

But looking for the perfect way to spend a day with family, friends, and neighbors? Don't miss the fraternal order of the Beavers annual Family Fun Day celebration happening at the scenic lodge by the lake. After a 10-year hiatus, this beloved local tradition is back and bigger than ever, packed with great food, refreshing drinks, and activities for all ages. Come hungry and enjoy mouthwatering barbecue hot off the grill. Then kick back and relax with an open bar for the adults. Meanwhile, the kids can dive into a full lineup of fun games, contests, and outdoor activities designed to keep them smiling all day long. Ever wondered what goes on inside the Beaver Lodge? Take a guided tour and get a behind-the-scenes look at one of the community's most talked-about spots. Whether you're there for the food, the fun, or just to soak in some good old-fashioned small town charm, this is one event you won't want to miss. So grab your lawn chairs, bring your appetite, and join us lakeside for a day of laughter, connection, and community spirit.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:23

Anyway, y'all hear that. Uh, there was a big event, strangely, planned at the beaver lodge this come upcoming weekend. Uh, it's almost as though they won a large pot part of the town there for some weird reason.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:38

Um nefarious anti-beaver related. Yeah. Uh philosopher stone.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:45

Um, anyway. This has been Wes's Campfire. I'm West. These are my players. Have a wonderful time. We'll see you next time. Hold on. Bye.